QUESTION #3:
* Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someoen who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing".
So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth, and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whoes goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION #4:
* How does he/she treat other people?
There one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, busdrivers,taxi-drivers,etc. How do they treat friends and colleagues? How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you--who can't nearly as much for them! You can be sure that someone who treats other poorly,will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION #5:
* Is there anything I'm hope to change about this person after we're married.
Too many people make mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage...for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
CONCLUTION
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask question that will help you to get the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you make up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didin't do your homework.
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